Thursday, April 24, 2008

13. Neapolitaner Waffel (Flavour of the year!)

Dan and I are terrible human beings. Our REAL flavour of the day was the Diät Joghurt Ritter Sport. We both looked down at that dull white packaging in my guilty hand, gave each other a quick glance of utter disgust, and Dan growled: "Put that back RIGHT NOW!"

I gladly obeyed, and back into the box it went.

No point in ruining a perfectly beautiful sunny day, right? Of course, our biased thoughts could be completely wrong and the Diet series could be a chocolate wonder of the universe, but... NO! It is just not possible! Diet and Chocolate just don't belong together!

Anyway, the coy vermillion packaging of the Neapolitaner Waffel peeked at us, along with the gorgeous golden label that boasted: "Sorte des Jahres", or "Flavour of the year". We greedily grabbed it and smiled. It felt right.

Ugh, we are SOOOO going to get all the diet and "bad" flavours in the end, and we have noone but ourselves to blame for it. Oh well.

The Neapolitaner Waffel consists of two light wafer biscuits topped with a scrumptious thick layer of my favourite Ritter Sport ingredient: the nougat.

With that gleaming label, this chocolate bar has a HUGE reputation to live up to!

Sweetness: 4 out of 5

It was flirting dangerously with the borderline of being much TOO sweet, but no. That gently neutral wafer biscuit created some sort of barrier that stopped the nougat from overthrowing the balance of this delectable item.

Texture: 5 out of 5

The light crunchiness of wafer mixed with the creamy, rich, sweet nougat? My idea of HEAVEN!

*insert harps and angelic singing here*

Devourability: 5 out of 5

Being the "Flavour of the Year" made me want to savour it in a slower and more relaxed manner since it was such a "special" sweet.

But I couldn't control myself! I wanted more of that crunchy BITE, followed closely by the succulent creaminess of the hazelnut creme. MORE AND MORE AND MORE. I didn't want it to ever end, and I wanted to drown in an AVALANCHE of wafer mixed with smooth, smooth nougat!

And you know what? I STILL want MORE! In fact, methinks that I will grab another one of these tomorrow!

Frequency: 4.5 out of 5

Yes yes yes!

Overall: 18.5 out of 20

Oh how I would have loved it if this flavour hadn't lived up to its title. Oh how satisfying would it have been if I had had the opportunity to type a catty comment such as: "Yes Mr. Ritter, you think you know us and what we want in chocolate? Well, master chocolatier, think again. You couldn't be more wrong."

Of course it didn't happen, and I really want the Neapolitaner Waffel to be my best friend. Forever.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

12. Weisse Voll-Nuss (White Chocolate with Whole Nuts)

Aah, the Weisse Voll-Nuss Rittersport. A lot of people I know have a snobbish attitude towards white chocolate, because it isn't "the real thing". Me, I'm not that picky. Even though it isn't my favourite variation of chocolate, I tolerate it, and once in a blue moon when I'm feeling WILDLY SPONTANEOUS, I will actually make a purchase.

And this might be a blasphemy to some chocolate lovers, but WHITE CHOCOLATE also contains cocoa butter which is why it ALSO qualifies as chocolate! mmkay?

Thank you.

Sweetness: 4 out of 5

One of the sweeter variety of the Ritter Sport chocolates - pleasantly milky and smooth.

Texture: 5 out of 5

GIANT WHOLE HAZELNUTS! CHUNKY FUN! And if THAT wasn't enough, it even has a generous sprinkling of surprise CRISPIES in it! What an adventure of CHUNKINESS! I really couldn't get over this CHUNKY CHUNK OF YUMMY CHUNK CHUNK!

Devourability: 5 out of 5

My teeth were having a BALL with this chocolate bar, they were exercising rapidly and having a GREAT TIME. I couldn't get enough of the CRUNCH CRUCH CRUNCH and the occasional cheeky CRISP that would sneak in there once in a while. The rate I went through this chocolate bar was quite impressive.

Frequency: 2 out of 5

Ok, even though I loved the nutty crispy ORGY in my mouth, let's face it. It is still white chocolate, and given the chance of choosing between white, milk or dark, I will probably dump the white chocolate to the end of the line, unless I was in an exceptional mood that day. I know that I started off this post defending white chocolate and how overlooked they are, but I guess sometimes I can join that snarky club.

Overall: 16 out of 20

Due to my luke-warm liking towards white chocolate, I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly I ingested this chocolate bar and the extent of how much I enjoyed it. Kids, today we learn a valuable message: never discriminate and always look at things at a more than superficial level.

And white chocolate has feelings too. They deserve a chance. :)

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

11. Mousse au Chocolat (Chocolate Mousse)

We decided to break the routine during lunch today, and the whole bunch of us at work decided to go to the university cafeteria and snag ourselves some nice cheap food. After my 2 euro meal (no complaints here), I was ready to finish with a healthy banana for desert, but everyone started bombarding me with their leftover Chocolate Mousse. I really must have a face of desperation and constant hunger.

We then decided that it was a great day to have the Mousse Au Chocolat Ritter Sport! We could compare it almost directly to the real thing... what a fun chocolate explosion!

Sweetness: 4.5 out of 5

The outer shell is made of the ever-reliable dark chocolate, which enhances the rich, dark and slightly bitter center to perfection. Bitterness is almost always associated with harshness and distastefulness, but sometimes it can be oh-so-beautiful.

Case in point - the Mousse au Chocolat Ritter Sport.

Texture: 4 out of 5

What a lovely texture! As you take a ponderous bite of the dark chocolate coating, you reach the...

wait for it...

WAAIT for it...

WAAAAIT for it...

...a SOFTER and slightly CREAMIER version of what seems to be the SAME DARK CHOCOLATE! Much more velvety than the Juicy velour sweat pants I never wanted to have, the poetic merger of the two dark chocolates just plays GAMES with your tongue. Lusciously tasteful games.


The only reason why I subtracted points in this category is because I had anticipated it to be much SMOOTHER and OOZIER, like a real chocolate mousse. More "MOUSSE-Y", to be exact. So I felt cheated by this little delicacy.

What a little enticer, you.

Devourability: 4 out of 5

Ate it all, enjoyed the complex sweet-bitterness of every bit of it.

Frequency: 4 out of 5

I believe I have found another Ritter Sport to add to my ELITE repertoire of guilty pleasures (along with laughing at people who slip and fall, the acclaimed TV show Flava of Love, gossip blogs, and jumping in public places with half-nude over sized plastic dolls - yes, I am very mature).

It is one of the heavier Ritter Sports, both in satisfaction of hunger, density and taste, which is why it is not the every day candy bar, but I'm sure my fertile imagination will help me figure out excuses to chow down on this good, good stuff on a regular basis.

Overall: 16.5 out of 20

An adult version of the Nugat Ritter Sport that I love so much.

Monday, April 21, 2008

10. Trauben Nuss (Raisin and Nuts)

The topic of raisins in chocolate has polarized opinions for years, almost to the extent of other CONTROVERSIAL subjects such as moustaches, cigarrettes, and George W. Bush. You either love it or you hate it. Luckily for me, I think that this particular dry fruit makes a tasteful complement to milk chocolate. Yay for more opportunities of being a GREEDY PIG!

Today's flavour: the Trauben Nuss (Raisin + Nuts).

Sweetness: 3.5 out of 5

It was a TINY bit too sweet, but sometimes you're just in the mood for an extra bit of sugar to flick you in the face, especially after a terribly lulling lunch of Burger King at the Reeperbahn. *cholesterol-ingested snoooooze*

Texture: 4 out of 5

No puny, shriveled little things here - BIG CHEWY RAISINS rule! The pulpous dried fruit balances out the crunchiness of the chopped up hazelnuts incredibly well, making for a nice snack to chomp on. nyom nyom nyom...

What will be next to hit those eager molars: the grapey softness of the raisins, or a hefty munch of hazelnut? *excitement!*

Devourability: 4 out of 5

I ate it all. Pretty quickly, but not like a deranged animal or anything like that.

Frequency: 3.5 out of 5

It was gratifying, but I'd have to be in some special mood for the sweet nutty and grapey combo in the chocolate. Perhaps when I am feeling in a drowsy slumberous mode.

Overall: 15 out of 20

Raisins and Nuts are two opposite elements (soft vs. crunchy, sweet vs. salty, SASSY vs. AWESOME) that in my very personal opinion, work very well together alone or in chocolate. Just like a mismatched couple that has been together for 30+ years who bicker once in a while, but at the end of the day, learn to live on each other's differences.

A MUCH better couple than that annoying Mr. Peanut Butter and Mrs. Jelly who just can't seem to get along, even when a thick crusty piece of bread mashes them together in a romantic pulpy mess. BLEGH!

I would have never considered buying the Trauben Nuss Ritter Sport before this because it would have never crossed my mind, but I can see myself buying a bar again.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

9. Nugat (Nougat)

I was feeling pretty cranky on Friday, and being the whiny lil' package of annoying self-pity that I am, I asked Dan if we could have the Nougat flavour that day. This has been one of my favourite flavours EVER. It just makes me happy, so I kind of needed it.

I think my love for nougatty-scrumptiousness started ever since I was a youngin', and I have always obsessed over any nut/chocolate/creme concoction I could stuff into my piehole - Ferrero Rochers, nutella, etc.

I know, I know... all the rules of picking a Ritter Sport randomly each day have gone down the drain. Hopefully we'll get back on track next week.

Or not.

Wow, how spontaneous are we?!

Sweetness: 5 out of 5

The milk chocolate combined with that delectable hazelnutty-nougat is absolute bliss.

Texture: 5 out of 5

I would have given it a higher grade if I could. In fact, I would give it all the smiley faces, golden stars, rainbow sparkles and bonus points in the world!

It's like some sort of MAGICAL biological reaction every time I bite into each square - the milk chocolate just melds gently with the nougat filling and it just melts in my mouth effortlessly - AMAZINGLY YUMMERS...

I would basically SLATHER the filling all over my FACE if it weren't FROWNED upon by society.

Devourability: 5 out of 5

The Nugat Ritter Sport is my weakness, it really is. The usual speed I eat the entire BAR is just ridiculous. Every time I rip open the wrapper, I get into a CRAZED automatic mode where I lose any flicker of self-control I may have, and suddenly, that glossy purplish-blue packaging is empty.


Frequency: 3 out of 5

This would be one of the cases where a bar of chocolate is SO GOOD, it's BAD. If it were up to me, I would eat 4 of these things a day, which is of course absolutely ridiculous. This is why every time I pass the Ritter Sport aisle I fight my urges, and convince myself to pick something else - something that doesn't send me into an UNHINGED MANIA.

Overall: 18 out of 20

One of my all-time favourites. Always puts me into a better mood.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

8. Eierlikör (Special Spring Edition)

For some reason, this was the most evasive flavour of all. It was the only one missing from the Spring Edition trio (Marc de Champagne, Eierlikör and Ramazzotti) at the supermarket. We kept an eye open for it everywhere: at smaller grocery stores, some gas stations, kiosks, and nothing.

I had remembered seeing them at a particular gas station several weeks ago, but had avoided purchasing them because they were double the regular price - 1.45 euros... typical gas station inflation. I went again, but no, they were no longer in display at the counter. *gasp* The Ritter Sport Challenge is in danger!

But fret not, I was with my friend Talke - hoorah for native speakers - and she asked the shopkeeper, who proceeded to head to the back. Turns out they still had a few in stock, and the shopkeeper emerged from the darkness with the desired bar.

After that endeavor, the Eierlikör (Eggnog) Ritter Sport was just BEGGING to be flavour of the day.

Sweetness: 2 out of 5

It was on the sweet side of the Ritter Sport spectrum. I can probably count the number of times I have had eggnog my entire life with two fingers (MAX), so I wouldn't be a good judge of whether or not the filling tasted like authentic egg nog, especially the German kind. The alcoholic taste, however, was milder than the Marc de Champagne flavour, which made it less GAG-inducing to me.

Texture: 5 out of 5

The default milk chocolate, always delicious - and the filling was lush and smooth. I am not a fan of alcohol in chocolate, but the texture of this silky light yellow middle "saved" this chocolate for me.

Devourability: 1 out of 5

The creamy filling made me cram the chocolate into my mouth at quite a rapid pace, which is quite strange for me considering the liqueur/chocolate combo. But once I reached square 4, I realized that it was waaaay too sweet for the greedy speed I was stuffing my face with, and I had to stop and safeguard it in my office drawer.

Frequency: 0.5 out of 5

I wouldn't really buy it again though, especially with the extra effort that goes with finding it. I didn't HATE it (yes, "hate" is quite a strong word, 'innit?) as much as the Marc de Champagne, but it wasn't "THE" chocolate bar that would make me change my mind about alcohol-tainted candy. If someone offered me a little square though, I'd accept it politely and even enjoy it a tad.

Overall: 8.5 out of 20

For me, eggnog has always been associated with the Winter holiday season, which is why I thought it was strange that it was included in the Spring series. WELP, to each its own, I'm sure Germany has extremely valid reasons for why egg nog is a Spring flavour.

I am not sure if I truly enjoyed this flavour more than the Marc de Champagne, or if I am merely tolerating liqueur in chocolate more and more. I guess the Ramazzotti will be the ultimate test for my immature palette.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

7. Feinherb 60% (Bio)

Since I had the honour of picking yesterday's flavour, it was only natural that Dan picked today's. Being the to-the-point MANLY MAN that he is, he settled promptly for the Feinherb 60% (Dark Chocolate 60%) chocolate bar from the Bio series.

One of my favourite flavours from Ritter Sport is the Halbitter 50%, so I thought to myself, this is my chance to push the chocolate envelope.

I love reading the descriptions of the chocolate bars in the Bio category because they are just so damn fancy and exotic. A blend of chocolate from Ecuador, Nicaragua and the Dominican Republic? That's a little tropical vacation in a tiny chocolate square right there.

Sweetness: 3 out of 5

Of course it wasn't that sweet at all. It was nice, strong, bitter and very cacao-y with a mild aftertaste that I cannot really describe. Somehow it made me think of the Olmecs and the Mayans, DISCOVERING the cacao tree and exploring its uses in its purest forms. My mind wanders too much sometimes. Now if only I could focus on work a bit more...

I liked it, but I realized that my palate isn't really as mature as I would like to have thought it is. Oh well.

Texture: 4 out of 5

Pure chunk of dark chocolate - almost as dark as my black black heart.

Devourability: 3.5 out of 5

Once again, the 65 g Bio Ritter Sports are a lot smaller than the 100 g regulars, so my portion disappeared into thin air in a matter of minutes. Even the individual squares were smaller! I understand that with fine quality, you have to sacrifice quantity, but I am a greedy little bastard who wants it all.

Frequency: 1.5 out of 5

Eh. Once again, my cheapo self rears its nasty head, and I am just not willing to buy a smaller chocolate bar for a higher price just because it was handled in a cleaner and more earth conscious way. The taste, while quite nice, was not enough to make up for the price and size difference.

Aren't you proud of me?

Overall: 12 out of 20

Superior chocolate makers such as Ritter Sport have the advantage that because of their high-quality ingredients, they can be more transparent about their product and offer such an unadulterated product. With this chocolate bar, I realized that I am not a mature chocolate taster or a purist at all. I am in fact, quite a fan of when non-cocoa-y gunk mixes into the final product.

It was a good little stepping-stone to face the most cacao-y of the Ritter Sport brand though: To the monster, the mighty, Edel-Bitter (75% cacao), I declare: "I am ready!" (methinks)

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

6. Marzipan

Today we decided to cheat a bit with our Ritter Sport Challenge, which I suppose is alright since we were the ones who made the rules after all. I had started to whine about how I wanted to try one of the more "exciting" flavours, and the über-benevolent Dan gave me the honour to choose. But out of 20+ chocolate bars? Being the overthinker that I am, it was obviously a difficult decision.

After some pacing back and forth, Marzipan - the delightful confection made out of sugar and almond - became the flavour of the day. *jitters!*

It had always intrigued me, because:
- I like marzipan (especially shaped in WHIMSICAL shapes or on top of princess cakes)
- I like chocolate.

But together??!!

Sweetness: 3.5 out of 5

The bitter dark chocolate is always a winner, especially when combined with a sweet filling. I think this is the first time I have ever had good quality marzipan, because this one actually had that special almond taste, and was not the sweet PLAY-DOH I'm used to eating.

I have always had an issue with the "almond taste" in general though, because even though I love chomping on the nut itself (as shown yesterday), I have never thought that the "almond taste" tastes almond-y at all.

Texture: 4.5 out of 5

The marzipan was a complex mixture of doughiness, cushiness, ever-so-slight chunkiness and overall scrumptiousness. This must be the "real marzipan" I have been missing out on my entire life. It was the perfect consistency to allow me to take little nibbles of each square while everything stayed in place.

What an obedient candy this turned out to be.

Devourability: 4 out of 5

As always, I finished my portion of the candy bar effortlessly. But the blending of these two tastes was so new to me... the taste of this marzipan alone was so unknown! I HAD to take a break in the middle and PONDER. I have always been an adventurous eater, how could such a novelty taste hit my tastebuds after 27 years? Even the way your mouth moves as you eat it - nibble, squush, squush. nibble, squush, squush - where have you been all my life?

Is this rant exaggerated? Maybe... maybe not.

Frequency: 3.5 out of 5

It was a mighty treat, but somehow it is still too new and foreign for me to enjoy it too regularly. I NEED TIME!

Overall: 15.5 out of 20

This was a succulent eye-opener. I am used to seeing chocolate a certain way, and marzipan another. Marzipan should only belong on fancy colourful cakes, and form little sculptures of sugary goodness, DAMMIT! Together, they taste good! But strange!

My universes are clashing!

The Marzipan Ritter Sport is still an enigma for me, and 8 little squares aren't enough for me to form a clear opinion on how I feel about it. It IS, however, definitely good enough for me to grab another one of those bright red packages and NIBBLE, SQUUSH, SQUUSH on.

Monday, April 14, 2008

5. Ganze Mandel (Whole Almonds)

What a happy day it was when my chubby little fingers drew out the Ganze Mandel (Whole Almonds) Ritter Sport from our treasured chocolate drawer. Although I've never had this particular Ritter Sport bar before, I could expect no surprises. How could you possibly go wrong with the quintessential almond-chocolate combination?

Sweetness: 4 out of 5

The milk chocolate was just the perfect amount of sweet, and complemented the mild saltiness of the almonds superbly.

Texture: 5 out of 5

Whole almonds send my chompers in a wild frenzy, and it is an absolute delight to take in a hefty bite of the nut and chocolate each time. It is almost like a Russian roulette, you can break off a piece and have almost an intact square of milk chocolate, or find yourself with a cluster of Californian almonds held together delicately by the chocolate. FAAAAAAANTASTICLY CRUNCH-able.

Devourability: 4.5 out of 5

While I tried to save a bit for after lunch, I couldn't bare it and scoffed my half-bar into my pie-hole in under 5 minutes. It was yummy, and even though it isn't a surprising taste, its familiarity made it even easier to devour.

Frequency: 4 out of 5

I can find the Ganze Mandel sneaking into my regular repertoire of chocolates. Safe, painless, and a nice little exercise for the good ol' jaw.

Overall: 17.5 out of 20

Without a doubt I like the Whole Almond bar a lot, but I will have to admit that being a "classic" also makes it one of the more boring flavours offered by Rittersport. Which is fine. Many times, you just need that little bit of sweet goodness with a hint of salt that will get you through the hunger pangs of the day. :)

A classic without the pretension, kind of like a childhood PAL.

Friday, April 11, 2008

4. Marc de Champagne (Spring Special Edition)

Today's flavour was the Marc de Champagne from the special Spring Edition of the Ritter Sport line - only available during the spring (le duh).

I have never enjoyed any sort of liqueur in chocolate, but I was very curious to see how these master chocolate makers would translate the golden bubbly liquid of party and giggles into a block of rich rich sweetness.

Sweetness: 1.5 out of 5

It was too sweet and ended up just tasting like the "generic" taste of alcohol in chocolate. They could might as well labeled it as the rum, wine, whisky or brandy flavour, and there probably would have been no difference.

Texture: 4 out of 5

I cannot complain about the texture though: thick milk chocolate shell, velvety centre. It IS after all a Ritter Sport.

Devourability: 0.5 out of 5

This is the first Ritter Sport bar that I didn't even TRY to finish. I ate the first piece, decided to not pass judgement too quickly, and gave it a second chance. After the second piece, I pondered: "There is no way I will enjoy this. Just. Stop." My mom has always taught me not to waste food, so I gave it a THIRD try. This time, I tried nibbling on only the outer layer (yes, what a PATHETIC SIGHT I must have been), because it IS after all just pure and delicious Ritter Sport milk chocolate, right?

The TAINT of the "Marc de Champagne" had already CONTAMINATED the damn thing.


Frequency: 0 out of 5

I think the only way I would eat this flavour again is if:
- My life depended on it.
- Someone who I FEARED offered me the chocolate. I would take a square, and smile fakely as I gulped down the piece uncomfortably.
- If I were on a deserted island during New Year's, I wanted to get into a festive mood and didn't have real champagne to celebrate with.
- I ate it by mistake.
- I was tricked.

Overall: 6 out of 20

How does this even TASTE like champagne? I like champagne. It makes me happy and is always related to cheery occasions. The Marc de Champagne Ritter Sport made me unhappy and was no reason to celebrate.

Luckily it's only a Special Edition.

(damn am I BITCHY today.)

Thursday, April 10, 2008

3. Pfefferminz (Peppermint)

First and foremost, I haven't been a fan of peppermint for most of my life. To me it had always been a flavour associated with cardboard-looking chewing gum, breath mints and throat lozenges.

Oh what a complicated affair I have had with throat lozenges. I would see all this "candy" that supposedly tasted of lemon, cherry, or grape, grab them with GLEE, and then SHOCK myself when a HORRIBLE and UNFRUITY taste hit my tastebuds. It tasted NOTHING like lemon, cherry or grape and I blamed it all on whatever minty medicinal elements they mixed in there.

Luckily I snapped out of this ridiculousness disdain for mint about a year or two ago, and have been exploring a liking towards the gentle peppermint. This is why I was looking forward to the Pfefferminz (Peppermint) bar.

Sweetness: 4.5 out of 5

The sweetness of the peppermint cream in the middle was exquisite, and the dark/slightly bitter chocolate complimented it ideally.

Texture: 5 out of 5

The texture is absolute perfection. The dark chocolate outside is the perfect thickness - and after biting into that thick shell with a superb little "crack", you find yourself in contact with the oh-so-creamy-smooth centre of peppermint heaven. It is a CROWNING MOMENT of CHOCOLATE BLISS.

Sorry, I believe I just drooled on my keyboard.

Devourability: 5 out of 5

This was almost an EXISTENTIAL dilemma for me: while I wanted to just cram these little gems of impeccable chocolateness into my fat mouth in one go, part of me wanted the experience to last as long as possible. I took frequent little nibbles of each piece, and it was an absolute delight to see the minty-cool cream oooooze out of each morsel.

Frequency: 4 out of 5

The only reason why I wouldn't eat the Peppermint Ritter Sport every day is because it is too special to be my "everyday" or "default" chocolate bar.

It deserves more than that. It is the chocolate you would make up little excuses for: "Oh! The sun is out in grey grey Hamburg! Let's have a Peppermint Ritter Sport!", "My boss didn't make 10,000 UNNECESSARY changes to the MOODBOARD... it's Peppermint Ritter Sport time!", "I had a nice healthy salad for lunch and deserve a Peppermint Ritter Sport!", etc. I can see myself getting this twice a week. If it's a good week, maybe three.

Overall: 18.5 out of 20

A utopic Yin Yang of Chocolate: the Peppermint Cream representing sweetness, cool and light, VS. the Dark Chocolate with its bitterness, warmth and darkness.

It is all about balance. A YUMMY balance.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

2. Erdbeer Joghurt (Strawberry Yogurt)

As a child, my parents never really treated me as a frilly girly-girl, and pink was never a big part of my life. I don't think I ever owned that requisite frilly pink princess dress that every little girl seems to have owned. I think this is the main reason why I was secretly happy when I realized that the Erdbeer Joghurt (Strawberry Yogurt) was the flavour of the day - I love that beautiful pink packaging.

Sweetness: 2.5 out of 5

Too sweet for my taste - I had to drink a LOT of water as I ate my eight squares.

Texture: 4 out of 5

I found the texture quite enjoyable. The little crispy red bits (which felt like the seeds in a strawberry) in the yogurt centre took it all to another level, as they gave a nice sour kick to the candy. Without them, the whole combo would have been too sweet and artificial.

Devourability: 2 out of 5

Because of how sweet it was, I went through my portion quite slowly, with a few breaks in between. I found myself going back and forth to the water cooler to rinse my palate. I even had to put it in the fridge for a bit, because it had melted partially in the sun (yes, my office can get quite hot) - and that means I was eating it REALLY slowly compared to my usual gluttonous self.

Frequency: 0.5 out of 5

Even though I enjoyed it, I am in no hurry to have another bar any time soon. I ate the candy bar a couple of hours ago, and I can still feel a strong tinge of fruity sugar at the back of my throat, haunting me like the GHOSTLY FEELING of never knowing that Santa Claus ever existed.

Yup, back to the water cooler I go for a few more glasses of water.

Overall: 9 out of 20

The Erdbeer Joghurt was definitely more interesting than yesterday's flavour, but the excessive sweetness caused it to lose quite a lot of points in my book. It would be ideal for me if they sold these in individual squares, each one wrapped up in that gorgeous pink wrapping... It would be the perfect little parcel of concentrated sweet goodness.

So, Ritter Sport... I'll have my assistant call you, and you can go ahead and take care of that... mmmmmkay? Thaaaaaaaaanks.

Dan's Erdbeer Joghurt review here.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

1. Mandelsplitter (Bio)

Today was Day 1 of this tasty experiment, with the Mandelsplitter (Slivered Almonds) from the "Bio" line as inaugural flavour.

It is made out of organic ingredients from all over the world: cacao from Ecuador, Peru & Nicaragua, almonds from Australia.

I have never been a fan of organic stuff - mainly because I am an ignorant fool who wouldn't know their obvious benefits even if they punched me in the face while wearing brightly coloured tutus. In fact, I am still recovering from the shock after discovering that the Bio (Organic) line is different from the Diãt (Diet) line. What? Who? Where?

Plus, I can be quite the cheapo. Just like any other organic product, the Bio line is a tad more expensive: the 65 g Bio bar for 99 cents, as opposed to the 100 g regular bar for 85 cents. I'm not sure I can handle that.

Sweetness: 4 out of 5

It was quite a lovely level of sweetness, sugary enough to give my taste buds a sassy little shake after a very filling lunch that tends to lull the little fellas into a somber mood. Nice balance.

Texture: 2.5 out of 5

I can't put my finger (or tongue) on it, but the chocolate itself had a slightly different texture from the Ritter Sport that I have grown used to. It just didn't seem as "glossy" and perfect.

The almond bits were chopped up a bit too finely for my taste. You know those mildly annoying tiny sandy pebbles that get stuck in your shoe? It was kind of like biting on that, just that only a demented person would nibble on tiny sandy pebbles.

I prefer to take big CHOMPS out of whole almonds.

Devourability: 3 out of 5

The devourability was moderate, nothing special... had a nibble now and then as I worked. The only reason I finished the chocolate pretty quickly was because the damn thing was MINUSCULE!!!!! I was left craving for more!

Frequency: 1 out of 5

With so many flavours to choose from, I doubt that the Bio Mandelsplitter will make it to the top of my craving list any time soon.

It also pains me to say this, but there is an INCREDIBLY CHEAP supermarket brand here by the name of ja! and their über-cheap 35 cent almond chocolate bars remind me an awful lot to the Bio Mandelsplitter. It's the overly chopped almonds, I say!

And with that last blasphemous statement, I can kiss the possibility of ever receiving a life-time supply of Ritter Sports good-bye.

Overall: 10.5 out of 20

(Wow! I'm a harsh critic...)

Not the most exciting chocolate bar of the bunch, but enjoyable nonetheless. Perhaps I would never buy one ever again, but I wouldn't be ANGRY if someone offered me a bit to share.

Here's a link to Dan's Mandelsplittastic review.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Process of Das Ritter Sport Extravaganza

1. Put all the purchased Ritter Sport bars in one of our office drawers – all 19 standard flavours of ‘em, plus the luxury series, diet series (yeah, you read it right: the PROPOSTEROUS notion of diet chocolate sends tingling sensations of terror to my stomach) and the seasonal Special Editions.

2. Every day, we will close our greedy little beady eyes, reach into the drawer and randomly select the bar that we will eat and review that day.

3. Split the bar. (Once again, sharing the guilt is delightful!)

4. Chomp away and put those taste buds to good use.

5. Express our opinions through our respective blogs towards every single product of the Rittersport line, and thus become a true Ritter Sport Meister!

The criteria that will be used will be the following (as very well put by Dan):

Sweetness. Is it sugary and sweet like someone from San Diego, or is it dark and bitter like a JvM employee?

Texture. What does the chocolate feel like in your mouth? How does it 'bite' and how does it melt? is it gooey or crunchy or both? And more importantly, do you like it that way?

Are you satisfied with a little nip every now and then? Or do you want to cram that motherfucker in your mouth as fast as possible?

Frequency. Is this the kinda thing you're going to eat everyday? Or is this a once-in-a-while, just-because-it's-Tuedsay sorta thing?

Oh... Copywriters have such a sweet, sweet way with words.

First review coming up soon! YUMMERS!

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Taking a CHOCOLATE plunge

My current love affair with Ritter Sport chocolates began about 4 months ago when I moved to Germany. In the past, I had never gravitated towards Ritter Sports whenever I saw them in a store because they were always “the foreign German” chocolate, which naturally made it rank higher in the “fancy” scale. But ever since I started this “foreign German” life of mine, Ritter Sports have simply become “chocolate”, and as a matter of fact, quite the accessible kind.

Grabbing one of those perfect Ritter Sport bars after lunch became quite a habit, and quite a decadent one at that, because rarely was I able to resist the urge of scoffing down the entire bar in one day. Especially in the beginning. Now I would like to think that I have developed SOME sort of self-control, and have evolved SLIGHTLY from the PRIMITIVE ANIMAL who just acts on PURE IMPULSE.

Soon enough, I had my little repertoire of favourite flavours: the Nugat, the Hallbitter, and the Dunkle Vol-Nuss, and I never went past that. It wasn’t until after a conversation with my friend Dan, a fellow Ritter Sport enthusiast, that I realized: There are a LOT of flavours that I am missing out on! Dan, you truly opened up the EYEBALLS on my TASTEBUDS to a WHOLE NEW WORLD!

This was when a chocolate coated light-bulb went off, and we decided to take on the entire PORTFOLIO of the Ritter Sport brand, and review EVERY SINGLE FLAVOUR, no matter how strange or bad it may sound!

It is great to have an accomplice to share this sugar-rushed guilt with. Woohoo!